Jeeves is a GroupMe chat bot for utility and amusement purposes. Jeeves is built on GitHub’s
Hubot. He is written in JavaScript and a close relative, CoffeeScript. Jeeves is pushed to
Heroku where he currently lives.
Jeeves Commands
General
/ping – Jeeves replies with ‘PONG’
/help – Jeeves directs you to this page!
/the rules – Make sure Jeeves still knows the rules
/echo <text> – Jeeves replies with <text>
/time – Jeeves replies with the current server time
/adapter – Jeeves returns the current adapter
Google
/img : /img me : /image me <query> – Jeeves queries Google Images for <query> and returns a random top result
/animate : /animate me <query> – The same thing as ‘image me’, except adds a few parameters to try to return an animated GIF instead
/youtube me <query> – Searches YouTube for the query and returns the video embed link
/directions from <location 1> to <location 2> – Returns a Google directions list from <location 1> to <location 2>
/map me <query> – Returns a map view of the area returned by ‘query’
Karma
<user>++ – Give <user> a point of karma
<user>– – Take a point of karma away from <user>
/karmaranks – Displays the top 5 and bottom 5 karma holders
/karma <user> – Displays karma for <user>
Reminders
/remind me <description>: <month> <day> [, <year> [ <hour> [ <minute> ] ] ] – Sets a reminder that Jeeves will send to the group
/remind me about <description>: <month> <day> [, <year> [ <hour> [ <minute> ] ] ] – Same as /remind me
/list reminders – Lists all the current reminders for the group
/remove reminder <reminder name> – Removes a queued reminder, list reminders to get the reminder to remove
*Note: Months may be abbreviated or spelled out completely and hours are 24-hour style. Removing reminders must be removed by the exact description, this can be found by listing the reminders. To create a reoccurring reminder, simply omit the year (only annual reminders for now to keep spam at a minimum). A reminder must have a description, month and day in order to be scheduled. If the hour and minute fields are omitted the reminder will default to 8:00 AM.
Fun
/pug me – Receive a pug
/pug bomb N – get N pugs (Max is 5 pugs)
ship it – Display a motivation squirrel
Boom Boom Pow – Fergie pops up and sings boom boom pow
/batmetal me – Links a batmetal gif
Hacking in progress – Posts a hacking gif
I see you – The horse sees all
REEEE – Posts the frog
Did you just talk about my family[?*!*] – Posts angry Jersey girls
/who is your creator – Jeeves tells you who made him
Smoke screen[!*] – Posts a picture of smoke to quickly take attention away from you
/roll [ min [ max ] ] – Rolls a random number between min and max (inclusive), default is [1, 100]
Nostalgia*
For Dillon!!! – Posts the ant jumping on a spider GIF and yells “For Dillon!”
The real Dave! – Posts the real Dave
Nostalgia – Posts the 7-26-10 LK kill that the group Nostalgia is named after.
Where is Cody? – Tries to find our good pal Cody
Massive camel attack gotta go! – Camels are coming!
Cheese wheel – The world’s largest cheese wheel
Starfish dive – Ohh Patrick
Carrots in the pasta – Come on Hoose…
Hoose*
There are many Hooses
Movie and TV Show Images/GIFs
Great White Buffalo – Posts the GIF from Hot Tub Time Machine
Center for ants? – Posts the Zoolander center for ants GIF
One friend – Posts Kip Drordy from South Park
Where is every(body|one)? – Posts a Kip Drordy youtube video
Meegan you left your jacket! – Meegan appears, just give up on her already!
Video Game Images/GIFs
Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker – Image of Thunderfury shows up
Sports
/baseball – Pulls today’s games
/baseball <team abbreviation> – Pulls today’s game for a given team (ex. SF, NYY)
Meme Generator (imgflip)
/One does not simply <text> – Lord of the Rings Boromir
/I don’t always <text> but when i do <text> – The Most Interesting man in the World
/aliens <text> – Ancient Aliens History Channel Guy
/grumpy cat <text> – Grumpy Cat with text on the bottom
/<text>, <text> everywhere – X, X Everywhere (Buzz and Woody from Toy Story)
/Not sure if <text> or <text> – Futurama Fry
/Y U NO <text> – Y U NO Guy
/Brace yourselves <text> – Brace Yourselves X is Coming (Imminent Ned, Game of Thrones)
/<text> all the <text> – X all the Y
/<text> that would be great – Bill Lumbergh from Office Space
/<text> too damn <text> – The rent is too damn high
/Yo dawg <text> so <text> – Yo Dawg Heard You (Xzibit)
/<text> you’re gonna have a bad time – Super Cool Ski Instructor from South Park
/Am I the only one around here <text> – The Big Lebowski
/What if I told you <text> – Matrix Morpheus
/<text> ain’t nobody got time for that
/<text> I guarantee it – George Zimmer
/<text> and it’s gone – South Park Banker Guy
/<text> nobody bats an eye <text> everyone loses their minds – Heath Ledger Joker
/back in my day <text> – Grumpy old man
/maury lie detector: <top>, <bottom> – Maury lie detector
/awkward seal: <top>, <bottom>
Reddit
/reddit <subreddit> – A random top (today) post from the specified subreddit, tries to grab picture if possible
Conditional Commands
HOOSE – Enables/Disables all Hoose commands
NOSTALGIA INSIDE JOKES – All Nostalgia inside jokes
Notes
Commands prefixed with ‘/’ denote Jeeves’ alias. Jeeves will also respond to Jeeves:, @Jeeves and Jeeves when one replaces his alias with either of these options.
To enable or disable conditional commands type “/ENABLE <COMMAND_SET>” or “/DISABLE <COMMAND_SET>”.
*Requires a conditional command to be set for the group.
